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Rules For The Cat October 19, 2008

Posted by texasheartland in Animals, cats, family, funny, humor, Pets, random.
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To my beloved cat:

You have been part of this family for a while. But, I must remind you: I have been here longer! Here a few rules I feel you need reminding of:

The bathroom sink is not a water fountain. You have your own water. Whatever comes out of that sink is for washing hands. Not your mouth.

The carpet or clothes on the floor do not substitute as a kitty litter box. If I clean it out everyday, please have enough respect to use it.

The food bowl on the floor is yours and yours alone. Placing a paw in a human’s plate does not mean to claim that as yours.

Chasing your playmates across the hallway is just perfectly fine. But knocking items off the nightstands will only get you into trouble. Remember: floor = good, nightstand = bad.

It is okay to sleep on the bed or at the foot of the bed. Even a pillow that is at the side of me or above me is okay to sleep on. I may even occassionally allow you to sleep in my spot. But to take up all of the room is just ludicrous! I have to sleep somewhere too! And believe it or not, your species are adaptable in curling into little balls. I’ve seen it happen!

I will not pay attention to your every whim, especially when I am in the middle of something or in the restroom. Which brings up another point: There is no need to follow me to the restroom every time. Unless you can use the toilet, then there is no need for you to be in there whilst I am.

Do NOT intimidate the younger felines! They are not impressed, and will only be scared of you. The minute you go to swipe them, you’ll get a swipe back. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Pawing me at 4 in the morning is not a good wake up call. I will not only wake up, I will pick you up, set you outside of the room, close the door and go back to bed. If you have food, water, and a clean litter box, there is no need for me to get up that early.

Finding ways to escape from the house is not a bright idea. If you are not caught within 5 minutes of “freedom”, you will receive a bath. End of story.

These rules are in no way meant for you to get upset and leave a nice little present in the middle of the bed. Always remember: I wuv you!

Love,
Your Human

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Comments»

1. cathi stegall - October 22, 2008

i’m sitting in class reading this and almost spitting water out of my nose! This is so true, it’s funny!


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