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Rules for the Dog October 24, 2008

Posted by texasheartland in Animals, cats, dogs, family, funny, hilarious, humor, Pets, random, thoughts.
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To my beloved Pooch:

You may have not been here long and I understand you have trouble following some simple rules. So instead of putting you in a “time out”, I’d figure it would be better to put the rules in writing.

I am not a moving target. My hands, arms, and feet are not chew toys. I do not appreciate it when you try to bite me the first moment of my awakening. Leave the biting for food and toys.

Please… Once again, PLEASE do not chase the cats. They are not amused and will fight back. They have sharper claws than you do and are faster. If you can’t climb up the curtain to get to them, don’t try chasing them.

I understand you get excited sometimes when I’m heading towards the door or kitchen. But trying to trip me isn’t a great way of showing it.

What I do not understand is why you have to follow me to the bathroom and sit by the closed door, whining. Like I told you kitty companion, unless you can use the toilet, there is no need for you to be there.

You are not a cat. Do not eat the cat’s food. You have your own.

What is your obsession with trash? Just because it smells good doesn’t mean it’s gonna taste just like it smells.

Why must you sit in front of the fridge everytime I open it? No you can’t have anything so don’t bother asking.

We do not use the floor as a toilet. We have set up stations for your private business. Please use those.

Do not chew on the furniture or the bed. We need them to sit on. Unless you want us to sit on the floor.

When we are outside with the boyfriend, try not to “hog tie” him with your leash. I don’t want to make a trip to the emergency room because you want to play.

I havte noticed that you have less rules than the cat. That’s saying something! Now, I will post these where you can see them everyday as a reminder. And remember: I wuv you!

Love,

Your Human

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