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Late Night Thoughts September 2, 2009

Posted by texasheartland in dating, Feelings, learning, life, love, relationships, thoughts.
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Once I get in a mindset that I’m gonna do something, unless nothing else major is going on, its usually the last thing I think of as I drift off to sleep.

As I was laying in bed to fall asleep last night, my thoughts once again turned to relationships. More specifically, where my past ones went wrong. I know its not good to dwell on the past, but this wasn’t reminiscing- it was taking notes. As I thought through every past relationship, I realized it wasn’t my fault they ended. It was their’s.

Why do I say that? Because even with my first relationship at 21, I was more mature. He was a tall blond 30-something that played video games constantly. We never talked seriously. The next relationship came a year later and only lasted 5 months because he thought he was better than my family and I. Same thing with the next one. This past relationship ended because we were just too different. He was a thug that used to steal while I had my head on straight.

I’ve realized that I have to be picky about beaus. While I’d love to still consider “Cyber Guy” (the one I had the HUGE crush on), he just lives too far. I’d never see him and phone cards cost too much to talk on the phone every day. Not to mention we hardly talk. But I still think he’s sexy. Hehe

I’m usually not picky about looks because I would hate someone to judge me because of the way I look. As far as personalities, as long as they were nice to me and my family, I didn’t mind. Maybe that’s where I went wrong. Sure, they were good-looking (as far as I thought) and they had nice personalities, but a nice personality can get you so far. As I get older, I’m starting to realize that maybe I can start being a little pickier on who I choose. I want someone with an amazing personality and a smile that makes my heart skip a beat. And maybe a goatee.

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Nevermind… March 14, 2009

Posted by texasheartland in business, Candles, Feelings, Friends, Guys, Job, life, love, money, random, rant, relationships, thoughts.
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Remember how I said in a previous post that if everything worked out that I could possibly be selling candles? Nevermind that.

I got some information and the price of the start-up kit. Wasn’t bad. But it went on to say that I would automatically be enrolled in the “Candle of the Month” Club, in which I would be billed $40 per month (plus shipping and handling). The initial start-up package price I could handle. But my family can’t afford the $40 a month for a “Candle of the Month” deal.

Now I am at a loss on what to do. I can’t have a normal job due to medical issues. Back to the drawing board I do.

Oh yea, guess the chance of me and Cyber Guy getting together is not happening. Turns out that he may be moving to Louisiana for a business opportunity. He tried to reassure me that he would come back to Texas on his days off (I guess to see his parents). But somehow, I still felt a sinking feeling. I’m destined to be remain single for the rest of my life.

I still love candles though.